Sunday, November 19, 2017

That Was All She Wrote

My last fortune

This was the last thing my sister posted on Facebook before she had her stroke. It turned out to be very prophetic. She never had another fortune cookie.

Sheila was an amazing person.
Her religious belief was paganism.

It is a religion very much based in nature.

She had a lot of stress in her life, but would set it aside and help out if she could.

She also never thought she would live past the age of 36.
But, she did.
So, she quit counting after she hit 36.
She also became grateful for every year she got past that.

She stood up for herself and the people she cared about.
Some people took it wrong and thought she was hard or being a bitch.

She was never malicious, but would tell people the truth and some people didn't like hearing the truth.

She loved puns and the color purple and making jewelry and writing stories.

Every year on Facebook she would share this photo:
The Ides of March. This is also the day she fell.
When we got to the Surgical Neurosciences Intensive Care Unit, the drain lines were already in and they were trying to get her to respond.
I mentioned it being the Ides of March and she actually rolled her shoulders. 
Initially the drain lines were only supposed to be in for five to seven days. 
That didn't happen.

Monday, November 13, 2017

I Was OK Til I Cried

I guess all the stress of past events have taken their toll on me.

Honeyman says I need to talk to somebody. I don't have a whole lot of somebodies, so this can be my therapy.

He suggested my sister because we went through the same thing this year with our older sister. But, she is busy. She works long hours and after that she watches her twin grandsons a lot.

Friday was good. The three of us went to the Foo Fighters concert and had a good time. Saturday started out good. I was fine. Honeyman and I watched a movie and Kiddo was at work.

Then... I lost it. My daughter made a comment to me online and I got so upset. I don't even know why. It made no sense. I could not explain it to anyone.

I did a lot of crying that night and I cried off and on yesterday. Today, I am a little better.

It is not all that my sister died. I honestly believe that it was meant to be. It is not easy, but that is the way it goes.

But, so much stuff happened leading up to it and I handled it. There was nothing else to be done.

I am great in a crisis. I do what needs to be done.
There  will be time to think about it later.

I guess that time is now.

The 15th of this month will mark 8 months since Sheila's stroke. She had a severe rare type of stroke called a subarachnoid hemorrhage.  It was caused by an aneurysm.

My niece called Kiddo at 4:30 am because she didn't have my number anymore. She thought she needed to call my parents and sister, but I told her that I could do it.

So, I called.

By 7:00 am, my other sister and I were getting ready to head to Iowa City, where Sheila had been life flighted.

The University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics is massive so we had to make some phone calls to figure out where to go.

We were the first ones to arrive. We only had a couple hour drive and my brother-in-law had a four hour drive.

By the time we arrived, the drain lines were in to take the swelling off her brain. The front part of her hair had been shaved off.
She was unresponsive for the most part.
At this point, she would make a movement if she heard something that resonated with her or she'd grip a hand when asked to.

It was a long day. Another surgery was done to find the source of the hemorrhage.

This was only the beginning.

Monday, October 30, 2017

Excuse Me While I Have a Breakdown

I have to say that this year could use a serious do over.

From the beginning, my 2017 has been cursed.

I could not flush my toilet.
That is how my year started.
Tree roots grew into the septic drain line.

From there the ball kept rolling.

The steering wheel shaft went out on the truck.
Then, the left wheel bearing needed fixed.
Probably from driving the truck with no power steering.

Found out Honeyman's kidneys were getting worse and he had to see a nephrologist.

My oldest sister had a rare type of stroke.

Honeyman had a kidney biopsy.

And people are still arguing about Trump. EVERY DAY!

Sis went day to day and finally started to improve.

Honeyman got put on a high dose of Prednisone which helped the kidneys, but screwed up all kinds of other things.

Sis fell again and ended up dying.

Our health insurance decided months later, they were not going to cover as much of the biopsy and we could pay another $1200 of the bill.

And this weekend was completely awesome.
Yesterday was my birthday and the day before that would have been my sister's birthday which she shared with our dad.
He is still alive and is 76.
It was quite somber.

Talking about my sister helps me. Looking through pictures helps me.
But, sometimes it feels like she is the elephant in the room.
I guess that's okay.
I like elephants. I will talk to the elephant. I will discuss the elephant.

She'd probably like to be called a unicorn though.

Twitter is tough to be on. Her last tweet was a retweet of my raisin bread recipe.
Plus, she actually noticed my tweets.

I am getting tired of all the political rantings.
And people are getting their news from pictures with captions on social media.

And for the love of Pete, can we stop all this stupidity over the National Anthem and patriotism and taking a knee? How many people are complaining about not standing for it and are taking the playing of The Star Spangled Banner as an opportunity to go pee or get snacks?

Some days I am good. Other days I feel like I am going to crack.

I am already seeing the  "2017 has been a tough year, let's make 2018 a better year".
Quit doing this.
Every year I see this and the next year is worse.
It is like a challenge to the Gods: It's like You thought this was bad? I will show you bad.
And cause we are people and many people don't learn, this is what we get.