Friday, July 28, 2017

And Then There Were Two

There were three sisters.
The oldest was six years and one day older than the youngest one.

Now, there are just the two younger sisters.

Back in March, my oldest sister had a stroke.
After that a vasospasm.
Next came meningitis.

She made it all through that and went to rehab.
She got done with rehab and was waiting for her foot to heal completely before she was released to go home.

She was diabetic and had had foot surgery the year before and it was taking a long time to heal.

Only her foot never healed and she never got to come home.

She was allowed to be independent in her room.

Monday, July 24th, she fell in the bathroom and suffered a subdural hematoma.
She was flown to Mercy Hospital in Des Moines.

I was at an appointment with my husband so after it was over, we headed to the ER to see her.
I was taken to the consult room.
That is never a good sign.
Before the doctors came in, I got a call from my brother-in-law letting me know what they were going to say.

She was in a coma. Bleeding had occurred on the surface of the brain as well as the brain stem.
They could do surgery to get the blood on the surface, but nothing could be done for the brain stem. She'd probably never come out of the coma and she would be living on life support. Eventually, the injury to the brain stem would cause her organs to shut down and she would die regardless of the machines.

So, it was decided that we had to let her go.
Now or later, the outcome would be the same.
And she would not want to live on a feeding tube and ventilator.

Her husband drives a truck and he was out in Indiana.
So, she was kept stabilized until he got back.

A couple hours after he got back, she was taken off all life support.

Just after 10:00 pm, my oldest sister had died.

My sister was an organ donor and her organs were healthy so some of her organs were donated.

Tomorrow, a memorial is planned.
Im the fall, she will be planted.
She was cremated and she will be put into one of those tree urns and planted.
It's a weeping willow tree urn.

So, it's been a week.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Sometimes I Don't Want to be Grateful

We love in the grateful age.

Be grateful for truckers and farmers.
Be grateful it wasn't worse.
Be grateful for what you have.

There's the gratitude journal.
Come up with five things a day that you are grateful for.
It doesn't matter how small.
It is supposed to make you realize what you do have.

Sometimes I don't feel grateful.
Sometimes I feel sad or pissed about how everything is going,

Yes, I have a house.
It has bad wiring, a crumbling foundation, a roof that is in horribly sad shape among many other things and I can't afford to fix any of it.
Am I always grateful that I have a place to live?
Yes. And no.

My husband has an incurable disease and he will die from it and the treatment they have him on does not seem to be working.
I could be grateful that he didn't die this morning.
But, I am not.
I don't know how to turn this situation into something to be grateful for.

I think it is fine to not be grateful all the time.
Life sucks. Sometimes it sucks a whole lot.

It's like in "The Facts of Life" theme song.
You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both and what do ya have? The facts of life.

It is good to be positive.
But, when things are shit, they are shit.

When your health is bad, it is okay to hate it.
I have heard from many people that they should be grateful that it isn't worse.
Why?

Feelings are feelings.
They aren't good or bad.
They just are what they are.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Life Goes On

It's May and things are moving right along.
Sis is moving from one rehab facility to another at the end of this month.

I am getting MORE chickens. A guy who works with Honeyman has chickens pooping on his pool cover so he doesn't want them anymore.
I have no idea what kind. Apparently, there are six. Though, I am not sure. At first, it was four or five and now it is six. But, they are all hens and still lay eggs.

I am down to eight dozen chicken eggs in my fridge right now and about a dozen duck eggs.
So, I definitely need more layers.
No, wait.
I just checked and I have nine plus the partial dozen that I have been using.


I am working on my garden. My lettuce was starting to come up and now it is gone.
Darn bunnies! Or squirrels. Or whatever.

I have learned that Jimmy Johns uses a wee bit much lettuce when making their unwich.
It's a lettuce wrap sandwich.
Any sandwich can be made into an unwich. But, you really, really need to like lettuce or get a sandwich with lots of stuff to combat all the lettuciness.

I did survive Mother's Day at my mother's house. Her moods are unpredictable so I didn't know how things would go.
Stopped on the way home to visit Sis at rehab.
I made and took her some apple crisp, which she loved. She will not eat much. Apparently, the food is bad. She needs to eat to get better and I told her so. But, that does not appear to sway her.
But, she can have food brought in if it meets her diet.
The best part of yesterday was her thanking me. I asked her for what and she answered "Everything."